Finally Receiving Your Prayer Language

There’s a single, often overlooked reason why many believers struggle to release the gift of tongues—their personal prayer language. And it all boils down to one uncomfortable word: Ego.

Now, I’m not just talking about pride—though that can be part of it. I’m talking about self—the ways we get in our own way. The internal blocks that keep us from flowing freely in the Spirit. Let me break down the top three ego-driven obstacles and how to overcome them.

1. Fear: “What Will They Think?”

We fear looking foolish. We worry about how the world—or even religious people—might see us. But here’s the truth: you will look strange… and that’s okay.

“If we are out of our mind, as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.” - 2 Corinthians 5:13 (NIV)

We believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. We’re not meant to blend in—we’re called to stand out. Some even fear they’ll anger God or—more absurdly—invite a demon by asking for a gift. But let’s be clear: you cannot receive a demon when you ask the Holy Spirit for a gift in the name of Jesus.

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” - Luke 11:11–13 (NIV)

So breathe. Let go of the fear. You are safe in Him.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” - 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

2. Doubt: “Is This Just Me?”

Many people pause mid-prayer, questioning whether what they’re doing is “real.” They whisper things like: “Maybe this is just me,” or “What if I’m making it up?” That internal dialogue has to go. Doubt stifles the flow—faith sets it free. Speak with confidence. Lean into the presence of God and trust that He’s meeting you in that moment.

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
- James 1:6 (NIV)

“For we live by faith, not by sight.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

3. Overthinking: “What If I’m Doing It Wrong?”

I’ve prayed with hundreds who want to speak in tongues, and I often see the same thing: tension. Instead of stepping into the gift, they get stuck repeating “Amen,” “Jesus,” or “Hallelujah” over and over—trying to fill the silence. They’re overthinking it. They’re trying to “get it right.” But here’s the truth: faith looks like relaxing. Yes, relaxing. That’s when your mind steps aside, and your spirit connects freely with God.

“Cease striving and know that I am God.” - Psalm 46:10 (NASB)

“For anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.” - Hebrews 4:10 (NIV)

So release the syllables and sounds—and trust the Holy Spirit to fill them.

Final Thoughts: Faith Over Fear

If you’re struggling to release your prayer language, consider this a loving challenge:

Let go of the fear of looking strange.
Let go of the fear that God will be mad at you.
Let go of the fear that you’ll “get it wrong” or “get a demon.”
Let go of the doubts whispering, “This isn’t real.”
Let go of the mental gymnastics that block the flow.

Instead, come to a place of perfect faith—not performance, not striving—just simple, surrendered belief.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” - Hebrews 11:6 (NIV)

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” - Romans 8:26 (NIV)

You were never meant to manufacture the gift—only to receive it.
Yield to what God has deposited in you.

“All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and He distributes them to each one, just as He determines.” - 1 Corinthians 12:11 (NIV)

For more on this topic, you can watch my teaching, “Give Me 20 Minutes and You’ll Start Praying in Tongues,” on YouTube by clicking here.

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What is Speaking in Tongues?

What is speaking in tongues? What is actually happening when you’re exercising this powerful gift? Why does it strengthen your spirit so effectively?

As a believer, you have a deep connection with God.

10But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. (1 Corinthians 2:10-12, NLT)

On a 24/7 basis, whether you’re aware of it or not, your spirit is fellowshipping with God’s Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit, Who knows God perfectly, communicates with your spirit.

Now consider these three realities:

#1 The Holy Spirit prays for you

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. (Romans 8:26, NLT)

That verse is not directly referencing the gift of speaking in tongues, but it is connected.

#2 Your Spirit is one with the Holy Spirit

But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6:17, NLT)

Your spirit is one with the Holy Spirit. So whatever He prays, your spirit prays.

#3 When you pray in tongues, your spirit is praying.

For if I pray in tongues, my spirit is praying, but I don’t understand what I am saying. (1 Corinthians 14:14, NLT)

So if my spirit prays what the Holy Spirit prays, and if my spirit prays when I speak in tongues, then that means that when I pray in tongues, the Holy Spirit is praying for me, through me. The surrendered syllables and sounds that are released when I pray in tongues carry upon them the Holy Spirit’s very own intentions and meanings.

When you pray in tongues, you declare aloud in the natural realm that which the Holy Spirit groans in the spiritual realm. When you pray in tongues, you pray perfect prayers, crafted by the Holy Spirit. You pray with His power, according to His will, surrendered to His leading.

The Holy Spirit wants to pray aloud for you, and when you pray in tongues, you give Him that voice.

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Can Every Believer Pray in Tongues?

Can every believer pray in tongues? What does the Bible actually teach on this topic? To answer this question, let’s first look at the portion of Scripture that seems to indicate that not all believers can pray in tongues.

29 Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? 30 Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? (1 Corinthians 12:29-30, KJV)

At first glance, that verse seems to indicate that the gift of speaking in tongues is not for every Christian. Paul’s line of rhetorical questioning communicates a clear message, right? Well, as with all Scripture, context and study are key. 

Consider these points:

Firstly, Paul lists several other gifts in that key selection of Scripture. Are all teachers? No. But the Bible teaches us in 1 Peter 3:15 that all believers should be ready to teach about their faith. So there’s a clear difference between having the gift of teaching and just being able to teach. Are all workers of miracles? No. But there’s a difference between the gift of miracles and experiencing miracles in one’s own life. Do all have the gift of healing? No. But the Bible teaches us in Mark 16:18 that all believers will be able to lay hands on the sick and see them recover. So there’s a difference between the gift of healing and a believer being able to lay hands on the sick and believe for a healing. The same reasoning would apply to the gift of the evangelist. Not every believer is an Ephesians 4:11 evangelist, but every believer should evangelize. 

So is the Bible contradicting itself? By no means. It’s clear that there’s a difference between a gift, which is a public and focused area of Spirit-enabled grace, and an everyday act of faith. Likewise, there’s a difference between the personal prayer language of the believer and the gift of tongues used in public Church settings (Along with the gift of tongues interpretation.) 

If the verses in 1 Corinthians 12 actually taught that the gift of tongues is not for every believer, then the same verses would also have to mean that not every believer can believe God for miracles, believe God for healing, or, if we applied the same logic to Ephesians 4:11, that not every believer can evangelize. 

The second point to consider about 1 Corinthians 12:29 & 30 is simpler. Note that it asks, “Do all speak with tongues?”, not “Can all speak with tongues?”

So can all believers pray in tongues? Here’s what Paul says:

I wish you could all speak in tongues, but even more I wish you could all prophesy. (1 Corinthians 14:5, NLT)

Why would Paul the Apostle wish for something that was contrary to God’s will? And, if that wasn’t the will of God, why would the Holy Spirit allow that wish to be permanently recorded in the inerrant Word of God?

In Acts 2:4, the Holy Spirit didn’t discriminate. All spoke in tongues.

And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. (Acts 2:4, KJV)

And Peter clearly taught that all believers could do the same.

This promise is to you, to your children, and to those far away—all who have been called by the Lord our God.” (Acts 2:39, NLT)

What promise? What is for all who have been called?

And the Father, as he had promised, gave him the Holy Spirit to pour out upon us, just as you see and hear today. (Acts 2:33, NLT)

That promise, for all who have been called, was both seen and heard. What was seen and heard? They saw them receive the Holy Spirit. They heard them speaking in tongues.

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